My Heart is Breaking

It’s weird…my mind is so fuzzy lately.  I start to talk about the affair and my mind sorta drifts off somewhere and I can’t form a thought.  It’s a defense mechanism I’m sure (I did study psych in college and grad school) but it’s distracting.  Or is it?

Should I be happy that my mind is helping me forget? Or should I keep the thoughts alive so I can torture my husband (and myself) some more.  Is it really over? How could he say those things to her? Why am I still here?  Who knows anymore.

I did find some GOOD articles today:

Anatomy of an affair - man’s point of view  - this is a simply wonderful story that lays it on the line.  in fact, I could put my husband into this story with easy.  And I still want to call up her husband and let him know what was going on…not sure what has stopped me up to this point.

How to have a midlife crisis - sorta interesting read.

Ok, next time I post, I will have a list of some books that were helpful and others that weren’t so helpful.