My Heart is Breaking

tomorrow we go to hawaii.  a special family vacation that he planned as a way to try to make things up to me (and the kids for that matter). i don’t know how i feel anymore.  obviously, trust is a huge issue.  how can i ever believe him again? how do you rebuilt trust like that? i don’t know how to do that…how to even begin escapes me when i keep thinking he could easily just be lying to me again.  he’s done it twice now.  well, way more than that but the 2 major times - first, when he moved out and cheated; second, when he moved back and said it was over and then it picked up all over again.  then he ended it and then the other stuff happened - stuff i haven’t even posted about here because it’s just too much.  sum it up by saying that the person he chose to hook up with is psycho and just cannot seem to let it drop.  so, now has he really figured this out?  something that i figured out when i first met her, oh, what’s it been?  almost 4 years ago…she’s psycho and a predator, that much was obvious.  why are men so stupid and blind?

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